I’ve made a lot of progress over the past 10 months…I don’t blow a gasket at drivers going the speed limit or go ballistic in grocery stores. I don’t want cocaine when I see salt. I have a job I love and am becoming a functional member of society. I even pay taxes.
I have not, however, learned restraint of tongue and pen…
Tonight I was at particularly moving meeting for newbies. The topic was triggers during the holidays, and my fellow beginners were honest and poignant. There were a number of people who I wanted to try and offer some solution to, having been there myself quite recently. I was really listening to each share, but someone in the back of the meeting kept dropping something clamorously on the wood floor. It sounded like a frying pan falling on a metal bouncy trampoline.
For the 10 millionth time (okay maybe 8th time) the disruption came again, this time in the middle of my share; just when I was getting to some tender shit. The thing dropped and I pivoted in my chair, whipped my head toward the back of the room and said/yelled a little, “What the FUCK is that?!”
To my chagrin, it was some girl knitting. She kept losing grip of the knitting apparatus thingy. I awkwardly regained composure, apologized to her and the rest of the large room (thank God they were familiar faces), and tried to spew something about a spiritual Christmas before passing. In my defense, it was a really really obnoxious noise. What was she doing back there, anyway? Combat knitting?
She was the last to raise her hand and of course shared about dying puppies and job loss. Great.
Maybe I was assembled without a pause button, and that’s why I find myself in so many awkward situations. A few months ago a guy asked me if I wanted to grab a beer. Instead of saying, “I don’t drink,” or “maybe coffee instead,” I said, “How about apple juice?”
His response: “See ya.”
Obviously someone who can’t hang with juice boxes isn’t for me, but the point is…I dunno, there’s a point in here somewhere.