Monthly Archives: May 2014

Road Trip

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New Days

“Mornings I used to wake up with a hangover were offensive.  A blue sky felt offensively blue.  Like a mole I’d run back into the building to hide from the sun.” 

 

–A woman at a meeting today 

“Mornings I used to wake up with a hangover were offensive.  A blue sky felt offensively blue.  Like a mole I’d run back into the building to hide from the sun.” 

 

–A woman at a meeting today 

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Prayer

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The topic tonight was prayer.  After a short but not-so-sweet rant I interlaced my fingers,  and brought them over my head like a triangle.  “I feel crazy.  I should pray about it.”    A people laughed, probably understanding all too well.

I tread lightly when speaking for others, but it seems to me that most of “us” (in the rooms) had no connection to a higher power before getting sober.  Since I’m so out of shape as a writer, I will merely highlight what I absorbed in the meeting, as quotes and paraphrases.

 

–       “It was revolutionary to come into the rooms and realize prayer doesn’t have to be religious.”

–       “When I wake up in the morning, I pray to feel oneness.  Then at least when I act like a shithead I’m not a shithead all alone.”

–       “Oneness is the opposite of isolation.”

–       “I can’t call it prayer; I’m embarrassed.  I call it that thing where I get on my knees and talk.”

–       “I call prayer meditation.”

–       “Way to pick the worst topic possible.”

–       “Catholic school killed prayer for me.”

–       “My sponsor told me: fake it ‘til you make it. So I did.  I prayed everyday. I prayed to no one and nothing…and gradually I started to feel better.”

–       “I wish I could get an email from God telling me what I’m supposed to do.  If I did get an email I’m pretty sure it’d tell me to help others, and I know when I’m drinking I can’t help anyone.”

 

That’s all for now. Hope to write coherently again soon. 🙂 

 

 

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Gettin’ Goin’ Again

Everyday I’ve been telling myself to write, and every night I’ve been kicking myself for not writing.  Empty promises are exhausting, and terrible for self-esteem.  What is WRONG with me?  (I’ve been wondering.)  Where does the time in the day go?  How will I ever write a book if I can’t even make a blog entry?  I’m a deadbeat. These are four thoughts out of one billion I’ve had since stopping writing. 

 

I haven’t been journaling at night, either, and I’m sure it’s no coincidence that my mind has been extra cluttered chaos. 

 

So I’m going to start small; no use in trying to cram everything that’s happened over the past 3 months in 1 blog entry…I will start with today.

 

Today there’s been nothing to report.  I just had a Capri Sun for the first time since I was maybe 12.  It was way too sugary and way-too-room-temperature.  This will be the highlight of my day.  This is me being dramatic.  More later.