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The Committee

voices in my head

Day 226 

A few weeks ago a friend asked me:

“Do you ever feel like your thoughts are having battles in your head?  One thought will come in and then be counteracted by another almost immediately?”

“Oh yeah,” I said, “my Dad calls those voices ‘The Committee.'”

Papa Dukes, also an alcoholic, (you know how we alchies love to keep it in the fam), made me feel better about the clusterf*ck of thoughts ricocheting across the walls of my brain by giving them a label…”The committee.” My theory is that everyone has these ping-ponging mental combats, but in alcoholics The Committee screams, fights, and squalls more than a sober mind.  Otherwise our minds wouldn’t be such a dangerous place, right?  Again, that’s just my theory.

Anyway, I have since passed this comical light of craziness onto my homies in the program.  It comes in handy all the time, like this morning, when conversing via text with an amazing artist and friend of mine.  She told me that my blog has been helping her; this gave me the chills and a huge smile.  She then went on to tell me of her art project inspired through sobriety and I can’t think of anything more beautiful than using our minds in a healthy way for the first time in probably forever.

After hearing the awesomeness and wonder of her creative juices in the works I said,

“God I love art!!  I feel like creativity has opened up in sobriety.  Our brains are exploding!  Like confetti!”  I typed excitedly, to which she responded,

“It’s the committee in our heads…starting to vomit.”

“HAHAHAHAHA”

This is the kind of morning that makes the day-count count.

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